I've gotten lazy.

I'm not sure what's up with me the last four days I've been in Three Hills.  My internal alarm seems to have shut down altogether.  I've woken at 6 a.m. but I turn over and go back to sleep for another two or more hours.  I am feeling so lazy!
I've gone for a few walks but nothing more than 40 minutes.  In addition to a walk this am, I did mow the lawn so that's a bit of exercise but here I am parked again, using the blog as a excuse, no doubt. 
Because I haven't strayed too far afield or taken pictures since I've been here, I thought I'd download a story I wrote yesterday.  I was feeling like I needed to be write something.
I've been asked, even by other writers, where do I come up with the ideas for stories I write.  I don't know.  There just in there.  I think up a line and everything else flows from that.  I thought that's the way it is with everyone but apparently not.  I've been told I'm lucky.  I'm okay with that.
I don't question from where it comes.  I often feel like I'm a conduit for or a transcriber of stories.
I've also been asked if they're based on personal experience.  No.  Well, I guess if I'm writing about home (Nfld.) or myself, then yes but the rest are pure fiction.
I think my imagination is well developed.  It's the place I went to as a child and later as an adult when life was challenging.  Someone said to me the other day that so many people's imagination has been stifled or shut down altogether.  I don't know if I could survive without mine. 
That's why joining a writer's group was so good for me.  It gave me a means to gauge what it is I do and realize, and finally come to believe, I have a talent for putting words on paper.
What I've learned about writing as much as life is, what I know can fill a thimble, what I don't know could fill the universe.  Getting involved wth a writer's group, the feedback and reaction to my writing, has helped sweep away much of the doubt.
Because one of the things I hope to accomplish with this blog is to generate interest in the novel I'll write once I get back to Nfld., it's only fair I should offer up my writing so you can determnine if my writing would be worth your while.
Don't judge by this one piece only.  My stories can be tame or wild, sentimental or fierce, depending on my muse and it's inclinations.  The following piece has no title.  (UPDATE 5/27/10:  Thanks to friend Philo, I have a title)

     A Dead End

Georgina jumped out of bed, stepped into her pink, healed boudoir slippers, stretched and smiled.
Todd would be home today. Finally, after three weeks away, the love of her life would return and she could be happy again. Life ceased in his absence.
He had encouraged her to take up a hobby, join one of the women’s clubs in town or volunteer at the shelter.
“You need to find something to do so you’re not so lost every time I go away,” he said.
“But I don’t want to find something to do,” she replied, child like. You’ll be back soon and I won’t need anything to distract me because I’ll have you.” She reached up and stroked his face.

With nothing else to occupy her time, she spent most mornings in bed, sleeping. It was her escape. Time went faster that way and besides, when she slept she dreamt of Todd and their wedding day. He hadn’t asked her yet but it was only a matter of time.
Today she was up and dressed by 10 a.m.
Georgina busied herself tidying up the place. It always fell apart, just like she did, while he was away. What was the point, after all? She’d pick him up at the station tonight which gave her plenty of time to get it together.
She knew exactly what she’d wear, had it picked out the night he left. The powder blue dress, with the white trim along the collar and ¾ length sleeves likewise trimmed in white.

She turned on the radio and soon was dusting furiously. She hated housework except on the day of his return. Then she didn't mind it so much because she was doing it for him.  Everything had to be perfect.
Once the vacuuming was finished, she hauled the sheets off the bed and replaced them with the red silk sheets Todd thought were so sexy. She loved the feel of them beneath her as they made love - cool and slippery.
She screamed out loud at the thought of them making love. The smile on her face, the first one since he left, made her feel like a little girl with a big secret she wouldn’t tell anyone, no matter what.

By 4 p.m., the chores were completed. She stepped out the front door of their rented house, a modest bungalow at the end of a narrow, tree lined street called Tamarack Road. She really didn’t like it here but it was bearable and besides, home was wherever Todd slept.
The market, five blocks away, was her favourite place in town. She loved the fresh cut flowers, the exotic array of foreign fabrics, and the colourful, strangely named fruits and spices but most especially, she loved the Armenian bakery.
The first few days after Todd left she succumbed to her bread temptation and ate ravenously, morning, noon and night – bread with butter, bread with jam, bread with peanut butter and jam or just plain bread, fresh and white, was the only thing that could fill her in his absence.
Georgina knew she couldn’t carry on forever consuming massive amounts of white heaven, as she called it. She had to keep her figure. At 25, she must be careful. Her mother always said men quickly lose interest when the figure starts to go.
She was one of the lucky ones though. She didn’t need to do much to keep it, just not eat. She rarely ate, other than the bread binges. Well, except when Todd was around. He worried she was pining away so she made sure to eat when he was there.

A roast was in the oven. The potatoes and vegetables were prepared. She knew Todd loved to come home to the house smelling this way.
“A house is not really a home unless it smells like something is cooking or baking in it,” he told her when they first started to date.
She hadn’t cooked or baked in her life but soon she signed up for cooking classes at the “Y”. She was determined to be exactly what Todd wanted. Each time he gave her a clue, she filed it away and, at the first opportunity, she would learn everything she could on the subject.
Like the time he told her he was a Bruce Lee fan. She went to the library to find out all she could, only to learn Bruce Lee was an actor. The librarian said she should go to the video store and rent a movie. She had never done that before.
When she returned to the cramped apartment she shared with her mother, the older woman laughed at her and said, “stupid girl, you need a machine to put that thing in if you want to watch it”.
Georgina was humiliated not for the first time by her mother’s sarcastic, slurred taunts.
It took a month, but she managed to save enough money for a Beta. With a lot of effort, Georgina got the thing working then rented every Bruce Lee movie she could get her hands on. When next she saw Todd, she wowed him with her knowledge of the actor and his movies.
She was an empty vessel and Todd would fill her up. Whatever he liked, she liked. Whatever were his interests became her interests. Whatever his plans became her plans.
Whatever she would become, would be what he would want her to be, no matter what it took.
Todd asked her to move in six months after they met. She didn’t have to think about it. Finally, the life she had always dreamed of had arrived. Everything she had ever hoped for, she found with him. She felt happy, secure and safe for the first time.

She arrived at the train platform at 8 p.m. just as Todd had requested the week before. He had a surprise for her he said and she couldn’t wait.
The man in the ticket office said the train was delayed due to a derailment outside of Piedmont but expected it to arrive sometime around 9:30 p.m.
It didn’t matter how long she had to wait. She would wait an eternity if it meant seeing Todd. She checked  her image in the bathroom mirror, reapplied her lipstick and smoothed out her dress. She looked perfect, just the way he liked her.
Things had been a little tense this last month or so. She just figured he was adjusting to his new sales job that took him away from her more and more often. She hated the job but he said he could make more money so she accepted it.
Off in the distance she heard the train whistle as it came through the other end of town then the announcement of its arrival.
Not much longer she thought. Not much longer.
She stepped out onto the platform, looked down one last time at her dress, tossed her head and flicked her hair with her right hand and waited.
The train pulled up and soon people poured out, some looked weary, others looked happy, most look disinterested.
“Where is he?” she said in a low, concerned voice.
“Hello,” a voice said from behind her. His voice, how could she have missed him? She turned on her heels, a radiant smile on her face and was about to speak but stopped.
Her face, flushed a moment ago, drained of all colour. She looked at his attire, looked up into his eyes then back down at the outfit.
A perplexed look washed over her face. His face was solemn.
“Why are you wearing a uniform?” she asked, her voice quivering.
“Because I’ve joined the armed forces,” he replied, his face blank.
She blinked hoping that her eyes were deceiving her, that the last few seconds were a mistake, that this was all in her head, that she was just standing here waiting for him and this terrible thought came into her mind. It couldn’t be real.
“Georgina,” he said reaching out for her but she backed away.
“I don’t understand,” she sobbed. “I don’t understand what is going on.”
“Please let me explain,” he replied trying to close the gap between them.
“No, don’t touch me. This is a joke, right Todd? This can’t be for real. You’ve signed up which means you’re leaving me.”
A look of absolute fear spread across her face.
“My God, you’re leaving me?” she cried. She clasped her hands over her mouth in an attempt to hold back a scream. Her knees buckled and she staggered backwards until she fell against a post.
“Georgina,” Todd shouted running towards her. “I’m sorry. I should have told you before I left, but I knew how you would react and well, I was a coward.”
A crowd soon gathered. Panic rose inside her. All those people, looking at her, judging her. It seemed they were all laughing at her. She couldn’t make sense of any of it.
She looked for Todd, stared right at him but didn't seem to recognize his face. He was just one of them, too close to her, touching her. She had to get away.

“Train 376 arriving from Pittsburgh, on Track 3” a voice boomed over the loudspeaker.
Her panic turned to terror as she pulled away from someone's grip and pushed through the crowd.
A man's voice was calling her name but she couldn’t make herself turn around. She had to get away. 
Everything faded to darkness. She crossed the tracks and ran toward the only light she could see.